


skip/beat/flutter

by exarite



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crushes, M/M, Timeline What Timeline, kind of they're only 3 years apart does that count, same age au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-05 23:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18838948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exarite/pseuds/exarite
Summary: Sirius is 17 when James’s little brother comes up to him after graduation and says, bravely, like a true Gryffindor, “I’m in love with you.”Sirius laughs. He laughs and he laughs and he laughs, and it’s only when he looks up and sees Harry Potter’s face fall, that he abruptly stops.“Oh,” he says, stunned. “You’re serious.”::prompt by Luxis: Sirry same age AU: Sirius doesn't know why he gets That Fluttery Feeling whenever he sees his best mate James's little brother





	skip/beat/flutter

**Author's Note:**

> a prompt by Luxis: Sirry same age AU: Sirius doesn't know why he gets That Fluttery Feeling whenever he sees his best mate James's little brother

Sirius is 17 when James’s little brother comes up to him after graduation and says, bravely, like a true Gryffindor, “I’m in love with you.”

Sirius laughs. He laughs and he laughs and he laughs, and it’s only when he looks up and sees Harry Potter’s face fall, that he abruptly stops.

“Oh,” he says, stunned. “You’re serious.”

Harry’s face turns red, and he ducks his head, toeing at the grass under his feet. 

“No,” he mutters. “You’re Sirius.”

Sirius can’t help but choke out a laugh, and Harry gives him a half-smile. He looks around him, wondering if James or Remus or Peter are actually secretly watching, but at Harry’s nervous shuffle he grimaces.

“Aw, kid,” he says awkwardly, and Harry makes a face, drawing back.

“I’m 14!" He says petulantly. "I’m _not_ a kid!”

Sirius snorts. At Harry’s hurt expression, he immediately winces and reaches out to pat his head. If possible, Harry’s hurt expression worsens, and Sirius's wince deepens. He feels like a right prick. He's never liked to even tease Harry.

“I know you’re not interested, but you’re graduating and leaving soon, and I just wanted to say,” Harry mutters, put out, and Sirius huffs.

“It’s not like you’re not going to see me anymore,” Sirius replies. He’s at the Potters’ every break. They couldn’t get rid of him if they tried. 

His only blessing is that he’s had practice now in rejecting people into him, and so gently, as gently as he can at least, he lets Harry down.

 _You’re too young_ , he says.

 _I’m not attracted to you_ , he doesn’t say.

Harry leaves with his head ducked, metaphorical tail tucked between his legs.

Sirius watches Harry go and sighs.

Surprisingly, the graduation dinner with James and his family later is only a _little_ awkward.

*

Sirius is 19 when he comes to the Potters for Yule and bumps into Harry.

“Sirius!” Harry says, flustered. His face flushes but he beams wide anyway as he leans in for a hug that Sirius automatically gives him. When he pulls away, all Sirius can do is blink at him. They’re still standing very close.

“You—” he falters. He looks Harry up and down, and says, faintly and surprised, “You got taller.”

“He did, didn’t he?” James says, and Sirius jumps away. He feels guilty and he doesn’t know why. James gives him a narrow-eyed look before he grins, and Sirius relaxes. They hug before James pulls away to clap a hand on Harry’s head, messing with his hair. Harry scowls and ducks, pushing James’s hand away, but James only laughs in delight. They’re almost the same height now.

“The brat came back with his robes too short on him, mum finds it hilarious.” James snickers, hiding his mouth behind his hand, and Harry pouts.

Euphemia calls for Harry to help her with dinner, and Sirius watches Harry go. He didn’t just get taller. He’s starting to fill out, from Quidditch maybe. Sirius knows he made Captain this year, he expected nothing but. Harry’s 16 now and…

“Don’t,” James says sternly and Sirius flinches.

“I’m not doing anything,” he grumbles, shoving James’s shoulder, and James snorts.

“Shut up, Pads, I know that face.”

*

Sirius is 20, and he and James are in their last year of Auror training. Coincidentally, Harry is in his 7th year, graduating Hogwarts, and James has just proposed to Lily. Of course, it calls for a joint celebration.

“You knocked her up, didn’t you?” Sirius says.

“What!” James says, way too loud, slapping his pint down on the table. “How dare you say that! What slander! Character assassination!”

“He did,” Harry tells him, rolling his eyes, and Sirius bursts into loud, outrageous laughter. Beside him, Remus hides his laugh into his own pint, and Peter snickers.

He and Harry share a grin, and Sirius feels his heart do something very, very strange. He swallows it down reflexively and takes another gulp of beer, looking away.

“Shots?” he weakly suggests, and James enthusiastically nods, standing up to holler for a round. Remus nudges him and raises an eyebrow. Sirius shakes his head. He shifts, uncomfortable, and he feels his foot brush against Harry’s.

He resolutely doesn’t stare when Harry downs a shot like a pro, his throat moving, just a little bit of the amber liquid dripping down his chin before Harry wipes it off.

Later, when Sirius is smoking outside the bar and leaning against the wall, Harry sidles up close to him. 

“Hey,” he breathes, and Sirius swallows. His fingers twitch, the smoke from his Muggle cigarette rising and disappearing into the chill night air. Harry hesitates, before he says, “Can I have?”

“No,” Sirius says, and Harry gives him an annoyed look. Sirius smirks and takes another drag, letting it burn down his throat, his lungs, before releasing it into a puff of smoke. He looks down at Harry, eyes half-lidded, and Harry just looks back at him. There’s something in his expression.

“I’m 17, you know. A year older than 16,” Harry says significantly, and Sirius feels himself choke on his next inhale. He wheezes, chest burning, and he turns to Harry who’s giving him a deceptively innocent look. Sirius doesn’t trust it, not at all. James has taught Harry far too well for him to. Harry is a troublemaker, a rule-breaker just like them, but he gets away with things they don’t. James takes the blame for things Harry does far too often.

“I know,” he says. Harry looks up at him, his expression expectant almost. People say he and James could be twins, and Sirius can see what they mean, especially with the two brothers the same height now. But he can tell them apart easily, even without Harry’s vibrant green eyes. It’s the way they hold themselves. James is a smug prat even if he’s mellowed down a bit, but hey, Sirius can’t say he’s any better.

Harry, though, Harry’s confidence is more of a subtle thing. He’s no less striking than James, but only if people cared to give him a second look.

Sirius sighs. He passes the cigarette, half its length already, and watches as Harry inhales and then immediately chokes, coughing furiously. He laughs.

Harry scowls at him, but Sirius just grins back. Harry lets the cigarette fall in between them and stomps it out, face red, before he turns away.

Sirius watches him, his fingers twitching with nothing to do now. He catches Harry shiver and immediately, without even thinking, Sirius slips of his leather jacket. He drapes it over Harry’s shoulders.

Harry blinks up at him, his eyes wide as he clutches it close to him. He’s not swimming in it, but it’s still big on him, covering him. The flush on his cheeks does something to Sirius, and his heart stutters in his chest. He just barely resists from demanding his jacket back, unsure and lost as to what he’s feeling, just knowing that he doesn’t like it.

“Thank you,” Harry says. Sirius swallows the ball down his throat and looks away.

“We should head back inside,” he says, and Harry ducks his head.

“Yeah,” Harry mutters. He sounds reluctant. Downtrodden, almost.

Sirius motions Harry back inside and watches him go. He feels as if there was a decision to be made, and that he just made the wrong one.

*

Sirius is 21, just a few months later from their celebration at the pub. It’s his birthday, and Sirius invites the Marauders, as usual, and of course, Lily and Harry.

He’s surprised when James tells him that Harry might not come.

“Why?” he asks, just a little hurt.

“Dunno,” James says carelessly. “He has a date or something.”

“What?” Sirius gapes, stunned.

“I know!” James hisses. “I thought he was never going to get a boyfriend, he’s been hung up on this one person, and I thought he’d never get over it. Apparently, he has.”

“Did he…Did he say who it was?” Sirius’s voice is faint to his own ears, and his head feels light. They haven’t even started to drink yet.

“No.” James shrugs. He straightens up, and then he grins, waving Lily over. “I’m not drinking tonight, by the way. Lily says it’s unfair that she can’t and I do.”

“That’s…That’s fine,” Sirius says, shaking his head. He forces a smile on his face. “Call the others? Let’s go.” His chest throbs, painful and insistent, and Sirius rubs it, grimacing. Heartburn, he declares.

He drinks far too much than he intends to, and when Harry unexpectedly shows up, just a little after midnight, Sirius feels his heart go weird again. That same odd fluttery feeling that comes with Harry and that Sirius hates.

“Harry,” he whines. He pulls Harry down beside him, delighting in the embarrassed flush on Harry’s cheeks. “James said you…you went on a date? How was it?”

Harry grimaces. “Eh,” he says, and laughs awkwardly. “It was what I expected.”

Sirius says nothing, just blinks blearily, trying to focus on Harry’s form. He reaches out to touch Harry’s cheek, smiling at how very soft it is.

“Sirius?” Harry says uncertainly.

“What did you expect?” Sirius asks, his voice low, and Harry pulls away. He looks down at the table and pushes at the empty shot glasses Sirius had drank and discarded earlier. Sirius blinks at them, surprised. Were those all his?

“He was okay,” Harry says. He adjusts his glasses, twiddling a glass between his hands. His voice goes soft and quiet. “But he wasn’t you.”

Sirius’s heart clenches, and he says nothing. He doesn’t…He doesn’t understand what he’s feeling, but it hurts. 

Harry sighs, inching away, and Sirius grabs his arm, keeping him from leaving. He says nothing, hesitating, and he wets his bottom lip. He feels his heart skip a beat, fluttering in his chest, and he pushes it away. He doesn’t quite understand it, doesn’t really want to, but now, with alcohol in his veins, he can at least admit this.

“I want you to stay,” he says, and Harry looks at him, his green eyes so bright even in the dim light of the pub. There's a beat, a pause, where they just look at each other, Sirius's chest aching and—

Harry stays.

**Author's Note:**

> We're having a [Sirry Summer Fest!](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SirryFest/profile) You don't need to write (although it would be lovely if you did), just send prompts!! The more the merrier yaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!
> 
> i'm exarite on tumblr!


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